Foolishly Asked Questions

  • What are some of your favourite children's books?

Thank you for asking, what a wonderful question!

As a child I really loved the daftness of Help! I am a Prisoner in a Toothpaste Factory. I also marvelled at the horrors of The Twits, pored over the daft intricacies of Outlawed Inventions and giggled under the duvet at the Asterix series.

More recently I've loved and laughed at Chris Riddell's Ottoline, Andy Stanton's Mr Gum, Emer Stamp's Pig and The Stinky Cheese Man & Other Fairly Stupid Tales .

  • Why is asking what books you like a 'Foolishly Asked Question'? Sounds pretty sensible to me.

Hmmmmm. Sadly, you might have a point. OK, can I have a properly foolish question next please?

  • Do your ears hang low, do they wobble too and fro?

You've mispelled the word 'to' in your question, so I am unable to answer it.

  • Did you realise that you've misspelled the word 'misspelled' in your previous answer?

Go aweigh.

  • How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I don't believe in owning shoes. I lease mine from M.E. Tatarsal Esquire, purveyor of fine footwear and saver of soles.

  • Shouldn't this section really have been titled 'Foolishly Answered Questions'?